Thursday, May 31, 2012
I am still on sick leave. I am STILL getting migraines almost daily. Last night I had one and I felt as if my teeth were going to pop right out of my jaw. I am on a new abortive medication (new to me) called Maxalt, it seemed to do the job last night. Today though I do still have pain in my teeth, but not like last night. T2s will be my best friend today. I really hope that there is light at the end of this very long dark tunnel. I'm feeling pretty defeated right now.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
I am currently on sick leave due to almost daily migraine attacks. I'm having a really hard time dealing with being off. While I know it's the right thing for me in the end, I can't help but feel like a prisoner in my own home. You would think that I would want to celebrate my good days, but being on sick leave there is a certain stigma attached to me now. If people see me out and about, I feel like they will think I am no longer sick. Even though this is the opposite of truth, perception means a lot in the world of business. I am just struggling because I am starting to become depressed, feeling like I am locked in a cage. It feels like I am being punished for being Ill. Should I really feel bad for celebrating the healthy days? Is it a crime for me to get out there and revel in the moment being that they are few and far between? Should I be constantly looking over my shoulder, worried someone is going to see me and judge me, or worse report me assuming that I am fraudulently on leave? I don't know what to do, I feel really isolated.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Was talking to a friend today who recently lost one of her best friends. I think I'm going to be able to help her through it because of what I went through with losing you. I can't believe it will be six years this summer. Even though I still have my breakdown moments (oh yes I sure do), I want you to know that whenever I see a honey bee I smile and say "Hey Melissa, where you been?". Makes me happy to think you are happy. I hope you're keeping paradise warm for me. You have 50 years to scope out a good beach spot for us to hang out ok? Make it awesome. <3